I fell again.

-

 Today was a normal usual monday.

I went to all my classes, finished the work i needed to do and read a few pages of We Were Liars.

the clock strikes 9.10pm.

with no expectations and thoughts about falling for you all over again, 

I clicked the Youtube notification that popped up on my screen and ready to release all the tense from a week ago by watching Going Seventeen like normally I would do on every Monday night.

The video started and i saw you.

.

.

.

Writing this with a desperation of wanting someone to know that i did not choose to fall for you every single day, deeper and deeper all over again. but this feeling i have for you--which i would call a privilege of mine-- is something i treasure of everyday. 

I did not wake up everyday and think "today, i need to fall in love with him again", no. I woke up like everyone else too, thinking about classes, breakfast, assignments and all other responsibilities i have.

but this feeling...

this feeling for you... 

its different.

its beautiful and its colorful. 

it makes me happy and it makes me excited.

it makes me wants to be someone good and someone that works harder.

its as if walking alone in a cold spring breeze while listening to your favorite song from the earphones- beautiful but cold, a bit risky and exciting.

the kind of feeling you had after your final paper of high school- thrilling and unbelievable and kind of wonder of whats coming next.  

...

is this what it called love?

-

it cant be..

i never met you.

you dont even know i exist...


it cant be love...

....

...

..

.

then what is it..?




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