You're happy without me.

-

 You seems happy. 


I used to be happy for you whenever you’re happy. I used to feel like if i have to go through the pain for you to be happy, I would. I wouldnt mind. At all.


I used to feel like I am in more pain if you are in one. I would be sadder if you are sad.


But not anymore. And I dont feel sorry for feeling like this. Because you never care about what i felt. That’s why you seems happy while I am in a total mess when you left. Thats why you keep on mentioning her when we were together. You dont care about what I felt. 


Now, I feel like it would be nice if you’re the one in pain, it would be nice if you’re the one feeling what I feel. You said our love is not blessed because you left her sad. You said god is not allowing us to be together because we made her heart broken. What about me? What about my heart? What about me being sad? 


Why are you blaming me? 


Dont you remember that night when you were fighting with her, you said you cant stand it anymore and you said you’re leaving. You said you dont want to be with anyone that doesnt trust you. What did i say? I asked you to get some rest, talk to her again tomorrow and dont make drastic decision. But you insist. You said you want to be with me. 


Was it my fault now?


You said you’ve tried hard to love me. But did you try hard enough to forget her? I told you to let her go. I told you to let her live her life happily, the way she wanted to  because you’re the one that wants to let her go in the first place. But you were mad that she seems to be forgotten about you. You were sad when she showed that she didnt care she lost you. What did i do? I stayed shut. I thought this way, you wouldnt think i’m pushing you to do the things you dont like.


Was that my fault too?


Am I still the 3rd person now?

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